Saturday, December 27, 2014

Why I Dread January 9, 2015

" 'tis the Season to be jolly, fala lala la lala la la...."

My whole family was home for Christmas. That makes me happy. 

Last year it wasn't so. Our youngest daughter was in South America, and to be honest we all were kind of schlepping through the day. This Christmas Day all were home and all was right. 

My December calendar this year consisted of volunteer work in church, 

shower for our son's fiancèe, cleaning, lots of cooking and baking, Christmas programs, Christmas Eve service, hosting family Christmas, gathering with relatives...

It still consists of preparing for a wedding and for my dear big sister to come for a visit.
Everything joyous or for joyous occasions. All should be just perfect with the world.

January, however, is approaching with the speed of light.
January 1 my sister arrives. A much anticipated day.
Jan. 1 also Olliebollen with wonderful friends, dress rehearsal for our son's wedding and more preparations. Weddings are a joyous occasion. Yet part of my heart is still sad.

January 2 is the big day. Our son is getting married! There will be a big celebration, a big party, a dance...

I'm sure there will be a lot of joy and laughter and we will all celebrate with him.

But Jan. 2 he will not be coming home for the night anymore. I know, he is old enough and we've had him home longer than one usually does. But we grew accustomed to it. It's just the way it is. Or was...

Jan. 6 unfortunately my big sister will leave again to go back home to her family. What a blessing that she can come and be here with us for this big day. But there will be goodbyes.

Jan. 6 will also be a Farewell family dinner. A last dinner together as whole family before our youngest daughter leaves for Australia for 6 months. It is a wonderful and great thing that she is able to go to YWAM. It is God's way for her and we all support her in that.

But come Jan. 8, there will be more goodbyes. She will leave on her very own adventure with God, and there will be tears of sadness to let her go that far all on her own. We will miss her terribly.

Why I dread Jan. 9 coming around the corner -

Empty nest. Complete and total empty nest in less than a week.
Aren't I too young for an empty nest?
I thought I was ready for this. Or did I? Maybe not. I don't know anymore. I've been too busy. So busy for a whole month and then Jan. 9 - nothing. I can sleep in, I can do my daily chores, I can chat with friends far away, I can do whatever I please.

Haven't I been looking forward to that? I've come to realize that - no, I haven't. I have not been anticipating doing what I please. Well, there is work, too. But I want all my family around me all the time. I'm in trouble. I am not prepared. 

I realize I need Jesus more than anything now, to prepare me and to guide me and to help me in this new chapter in life.

We all need Jesus all the time. But I have a feeling I will need to grab hold of Him a bit tighter than usual.